And who would blame me when you add up all the perks.
Really ! I mean besides the fact that you can always claim the garage to be "all mine", and you probably know some things about tanks, just think about this short, little list of benefits:
Like .. Even if you DO get married, you still get to keep your last name.
And wedding plans take care of themselves.
A wedding dress will cost $5000 / tux rental is a hundred bucks.
Any wrinkles in your suit ? Who cares .. they just add character.
Same with any wrinkles on your face.
Guys don't stare at your chest when they're talking to you.
And you can wear a white tee shirt to the water park without being tossed out.
Car mechanics tell you the truth,
And you already know which way to turn a nut.
Belching is expected; don't have to hide it.
And you get extra credit for the slightest expression of thouhtfulness.
Your face can stay it's original color your entire life.
You can do your nails with a pocket knife.
Don't ever have to worry about big hips; your belly hides 'em anyway.
One wallet, one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
Underwear is five bucks for a 3-Pak.
And two prs. of boots is MORE than enough.
If they MAKE you buy "shoes" they'll still never cut, blister, or mangle.
You can wear the same hair style for years - Maybe even decades.
You'll almost never have strap troubles in public.
If your friend forgets to invite you somewhere, you can still be friends.
You can open your own jars.
You can be president.
Same work; more pay.
One mood ... all the time.
You can have a phone conversation in 30 seconds flat if you want.
A one week vacation requires one duffle bag.
You'll likely never have to say ..
"Ooh no, that station's too icky".
But the greatest bonus of all for being a man is ....
The whole world is your urinal.
... Now go out and BE A MAN !
1 comment:
haha... great list :D Cheers to MENkind! :D
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