Outsourcing Our Economy Now

Seems like about everybody I know has been asking me: "Hey, Dude, you applied for your Economic Stimulus check yet ?" ... "You know how much you're gonna get yet ?" ... "When are you gonna get YOUR Stimulus Check ?"

So I ask you, what'z the big deal with this latest government handout ?
We paid in all this money, so now the "brains in black suits" are going to give some of it back .... GOOD thing, RIGHT ? Great strategy for stimulating the economy, RIGHT ?
And if we all get these cash handouts now, who should we expect is gonna have to PAY for it? (Good guess ..)

Well, my ole Daddy always said, the 10 scariest words you could ever hear in the english language are:

$ "I'M FROM THE GOVERNMENT

AND I'M HERE TO HELP YOU". $

So before I get all excited about my $300 windfall, I thought about how stimulating this might realistically be. And my conclusion is NOT MUCH. To begin with, my kneejerk reaction to a growing 10 trillion $dollar$ U.S national debt problem is that maybe it would be wise to pay down that debt a smidgen, rather than add even more TO it. At LEAST the current deficit.


But also I have to wonder just WHOSE economy we're trying to stimulate in the first place, considering:

If we spend the money at Wal Mart, it all goes to China, where we will absolutely, positively find ourselves being continuously poisoned with lead based paints, tainted pet foods & baby formulas, and lately the very drugs we take to try to keep from being ill in the first place.


If we spend it on "fresh" produce, it goes to Brazil or Honduras ... maybe Guatemala, where we are hated, and where there are so many contaminates from pesticides and herbicides long ago outlawed in this country, that the people down there won't even eat it themselves. Pick up a carton of that "Fresh Florida Orange Juice", and look at all the "other" contributing countries your Florida growers get their inventory from.

And without a doubt, huge numbers of folks will go out and fill their gas tanks with fuel for the first time in a lonnnnng time, thus driving up demand for gasoline & diesel even higher, and forcing even HIGHER prices at the pump, while fattening the bank accounts of the OPEC countries who clearly are laughing their behinds off at our collective stupidity and gullibility. And of course I can see little Hugo Chavez and Iran's Ahmadinejad smirking big ones as they watch the value of the US Dollar getting pounded to oblivion.


So clearly we're not going to solve any fuel cost problems with a $300 giveaway.

In fact a neighbor lady informed me yesterday that the only way she can justify the benefit of the economic stimulus plan would be for everybody to go out looking for garage sales to spend the money on. At least that would keep the dollars flowing throughout the domestic region ... well, until our bureaucrats in DC found some other country to dump the remainder of our scant business resources into anyway. And what the heck, just about everything you find at garage sales these days is foreign-made also ..... it was just a matter of time, I guess.

But really folks .... and especially YOU, Uncle Sam. If sending me $300 is so great for our economic growth, how 'bout really doing this thing up right and send me ..... say, $25,000 or so instead. I GUARANTEE I'd get it back out there real quick-like. EVERYBODY needs a new farm implement from John Deere.


Or maybe that "other" one ... the "Red One" ???

~Country Wisdom~

Boy, what a busy time of the year here in rural Hootersville.
What, with this global warming thing .. (we call it "Spring" around here), and the livestock droppin' young-uns all over the place and all. And as V-P Dick Cheney said the other day ... "I hate to sound alarmist, but it's gonna be getting a lot warmer over the next few months". That Mr. Cheney - I bet he'd be a good farmer when he gets outta D.C. He's got what them black suit fellas call "MOXEY", which I guess means he's got plenty of money and he's sly as a fox.
That's him congratulating Algore on the monstrous $100,000,000 scam job he's pulled off so far on the gullible "progressive" global warming crowd. He offered up a "cool" handshake diced with a smidgen of organic waste for his begonia garden back at the Tennessee mansion.
But Cheney's environmentally conscious too. I heard he's instructed his medical staff that any future emergency trips to the hospital MUST be by hybrid ambulance only ... no more wasteful pollution-emitting gas hogs to sully HIS carbon footprint. No siree !

And so I figgered while I'm gnawing on this peanut butter sandwich for lunch break, maybe ya'll would appreciate a few MORE bits of country boy wisdom I've stashed in the old noggin during my learned lifetime. Probably not, but here goes anyway :

* A long time ago it occurred to me that I'm really quite unique ... just like everybody else.

* And - If you ever get to thinking that maybe nobody really cares whether you're alive or dead, try missing a couple of car payments.

* A thousand mile journey begins with a leaky tire and a broken fan belt.

* All your friends seem normal 'till you really get to know 'em.

* Before you criticize somebody, you oughta walk a mile in their shoes. Then you'll be a mile away from 'em .... and you'll have their shoes.


* Don't ever be irreplacable. If you can't be replaced, then you can't be promoted either.

* Don't ever test the depth of the waters with both feet.

* If at first you don't succeed, then maybe you better not take up skydiving.


* Grampa used to say, "Give a man a fish & he'll eat for a day." "TEACH him how to fish, & he'll spend the whole damned day in a boat drinkin' beer."

* If you lend someone 20 bucks and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

* Some days you're the bug ... Some days you're the windshield.

* The ONLY way you're gonna double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your wallet.


* A closed mouth gathers no foot.

* And - You can't be learnin' much if your lips are moving.

* And - Never miss out on a good chance to shut up for a change.

* There are two theories for successfully arguing with a woman .... but neither one of 'em works, so just forget it.

* I've come to the conclusion that duct tape is like "The Force". It has a light side, a dark side, and I swear it can hold the universe together.


* It's always darkest before the dawn, so that's the best time to sneak over and snag your neighbor's newspaper.

Yep, living out here in Hootersville has definitely given me some valuable learning experience all right. But then come to think of it, experience is something you don't actually get until AFTER you needed it.

Oh well ... ya'll have a good 'un anyway.