One Faulty Cog In The Gears ...

Boy, it's really disgusting, isn't it, to see some of the most powerful corporate CEOs in the world, groveling before a handful of some of the absolute STOOPIDEST individuals on this planet ... begging for federal bailout cash to keep their failed companies afloat. And all because of the forced policies of the very fools they're pleading to for help. I never realized before now just how deeply the auto manufacturing industry had become nationalized already before this financial crisis revealed their plight.
And it's funny that the Big Three's operations OUTSIDE the U.S. remain quite profitable, despite the deep financial problems they face here at home. So what the heck IS the problem ? Besides being forced by our brilliant business experts in Washington DC to build auto's that nobody wants or can afford, there seems to be yet another little screw in the works that not only impedes growth and production within the US auto industry, but now even keeps the corporate leaders from achieving a successful bailout of their troubles .....

Hmmm ... What COULD it be .....

"Oh Good - Time For Change .. Again"

Well here we go again. Another national election behind us; another great caretaker elected to guide us all, both here and abroad thru our continuing "Circle of Life". And just like in the movie LION KING our newly elected Hacuna Matata .. or whatever his name is .. is scurrying like a fence lizard to assemble his own band of future federal lawsuit litigants to bring the usual promises of "Lower Taxes" and "Relief for the Middle Class" .. the two promises issued by every single U.S. presidential candidate that's ever run for the office in my lifetime.
And yet, one & only one, the seemingly despised (if you believe the media reports) President George W. Bush, has not only kept that promise, but has actually sent us at least TWO actual tax REBATE CHECKS, while raising the number of American citizens from middle class to millionaire status by an astounding 13% a year on average since beginning his first term. Of course the liberal (I mean "progressive") segment of America will never give him that credit ... nor ANY credit for that matter. But to each his or her own I suppose.
And I guess it's more important this time around that Hollywood, Europe, and Asia approve of our new star-studded celebrity guy for the next four years, than for babies to be guaranteed protection from harm by thoughtless or irresponsible moms who would unashamedly have them destroyed. Matata has made no secret of his support of the "pro-choice" movement. Same goes for his support of the gay marriage proposals,And if you believe the election results, it's equally vital to us that we abandon our commitment to the Iraq War effort, even though we would dishonor those who gave their lives to honor us with their service when we called upon them. He's been itching to pull all troops out of Iraq since he was elected to the senate a couple of years ago. Claims he was the only senator who actually stood up and suggested that America's sovereignty was NOT worth fighting for.
Appearantly we're asked by Matata supporters to disregard questionable past associations with radical elements of our society like domestic terrorist William Ayers and his "spiritual mentor" & pastor of 20 years, Jeremiah Wright, whose vulgar condemnations of white Americans and America itself you've heard many times already.
We're told that the chosen one's books of admonition toward American policies, and his stated (written) admiration of Marxism and socialist-style of government are misunderstood. And it's vitally important to make history RIGHT NOW - TODAY, by electing the first man of color to the highest office in the world, despite the fact that we know practically nothing about him other than what has escaped his censorship team, and the little tidbits of quirky stories about his family and his past that he allows us to hear.
For sure, the little we DO know leaves plenty of reason for concern, as even correspondents Charlie Rose & Tom Brokaw finally admitted ... 3 DAYS BEFORE ELECTION DAY ! This after months & months of amazingly outright pro-bias televised support of the candidate.

But Hacuna Matata ... or "President" Hacuna Matata, as it were, is our duly elected man, like it or not. And after all, CHANGE is what matters most ... right ?

Hacuna Matada !
What a wonderful phrase.
Hacuna Matada !
Ain't no passin' craze.
It means 'no worries
for the rest of your days'.
It's our problem-free philosophy ..
Hacuna Matada !

~I Think NASA Lost Their Mars Lander~

Yep - It's been 10 months now since the latest Mars mission got off the launch pad. But admittedly, it takes a while to travel 400 million or more miles, so it's no surprise to see that a $4,999,999,999.oo three-legged computer, spy camera, dirt sniffer, ice digger, solar collector, weather station, etc. gadget would take this long to get up there. But now that the first 24 hours has passed since touchdown, and we're seeing the dramatic pictures unfold, I can't help but scratch my brain over the astounding similarities I'm seeing between this "alleged" Mars polar ice cap and the eerie landscapes I've encountered out in west 'Taxes'.













And if you've ever taken that seemingly 10-month drive out to Deaf Smith County up near Amarillo, you'd know what I mean. There's the ultra-flat landscape, littered with pebbles and rocks, devoid of "appearant" life forms, hundreds of miles from any sign of civilization. And after a west Taxes wildfire, even the occasional clump grass would have disappeared. As for that "polygonal permafrost" pattern they're showing us in the "Martian" landscape ? Hey - I'm talking about the Panhandle Region of Taxes .... You think they don't have that up there ?


So naturally I'm wondering if NASA didn't actually just LOSE that expensive, creepy little robot in the west 'Taxes' desert, and don't even know it yet. Of course, they do have that very revealing photo of the actual landing, taken from a Mars orbiter, but if the little rascal WANTED to confuse the science nerds, he (or she) might get his (or her) satellite friends to send whatever kind of fun photo image they chose. Meanwhile subject lander is laughing it's little solar fins off while it enjoys the wide open spaces of Taxes, sending back false information about a distant planetary mission it never even had to endure.

Sure, right now you're thinking I'm some kind of nut job for suggesting such a preposterous scheme. But when you see the images of a coyote trotting, or a tumbleweed rolling across that otherwise lifeless "Martian" landscape in the coming weeks, you might just have to reconsider your OWN sanity.
And don't be alarmed if you happen to find a horrifying giant scaly, horned monster staring at you in the camera lens ... possibly even spitting blood at you from his own eyes.
That'll be the fearsome-looking 'Taxes' Horned Lizard ... or "Horney Toad", as we used to call them as kids. He only LOOKS big and mean when he's an inch or so from the camera lens. But if there's a martian lander within a hundred miles of that sunny, desolate region, he'll hang out with it, if only for the shade, 'till he runs out of ants. And that won't likely be any time soon.

Just wondering .....

Outsourcing Our Economy Now

Seems like about everybody I know has been asking me: "Hey, Dude, you applied for your Economic Stimulus check yet ?" ... "You know how much you're gonna get yet ?" ... "When are you gonna get YOUR Stimulus Check ?"

So I ask you, what'z the big deal with this latest government handout ?
We paid in all this money, so now the "brains in black suits" are going to give some of it back .... GOOD thing, RIGHT ? Great strategy for stimulating the economy, RIGHT ?
And if we all get these cash handouts now, who should we expect is gonna have to PAY for it? (Good guess ..)

Well, my ole Daddy always said, the 10 scariest words you could ever hear in the english language are:

$ "I'M FROM THE GOVERNMENT

AND I'M HERE TO HELP YOU". $

So before I get all excited about my $300 windfall, I thought about how stimulating this might realistically be. And my conclusion is NOT MUCH. To begin with, my kneejerk reaction to a growing 10 trillion $dollar$ U.S national debt problem is that maybe it would be wise to pay down that debt a smidgen, rather than add even more TO it. At LEAST the current deficit.


But also I have to wonder just WHOSE economy we're trying to stimulate in the first place, considering:

If we spend the money at Wal Mart, it all goes to China, where we will absolutely, positively find ourselves being continuously poisoned with lead based paints, tainted pet foods & baby formulas, and lately the very drugs we take to try to keep from being ill in the first place.


If we spend it on "fresh" produce, it goes to Brazil or Honduras ... maybe Guatemala, where we are hated, and where there are so many contaminates from pesticides and herbicides long ago outlawed in this country, that the people down there won't even eat it themselves. Pick up a carton of that "Fresh Florida Orange Juice", and look at all the "other" contributing countries your Florida growers get their inventory from.

And without a doubt, huge numbers of folks will go out and fill their gas tanks with fuel for the first time in a lonnnnng time, thus driving up demand for gasoline & diesel even higher, and forcing even HIGHER prices at the pump, while fattening the bank accounts of the OPEC countries who clearly are laughing their behinds off at our collective stupidity and gullibility. And of course I can see little Hugo Chavez and Iran's Ahmadinejad smirking big ones as they watch the value of the US Dollar getting pounded to oblivion.


So clearly we're not going to solve any fuel cost problems with a $300 giveaway.

In fact a neighbor lady informed me yesterday that the only way she can justify the benefit of the economic stimulus plan would be for everybody to go out looking for garage sales to spend the money on. At least that would keep the dollars flowing throughout the domestic region ... well, until our bureaucrats in DC found some other country to dump the remainder of our scant business resources into anyway. And what the heck, just about everything you find at garage sales these days is foreign-made also ..... it was just a matter of time, I guess.

But really folks .... and especially YOU, Uncle Sam. If sending me $300 is so great for our economic growth, how 'bout really doing this thing up right and send me ..... say, $25,000 or so instead. I GUARANTEE I'd get it back out there real quick-like. EVERYBODY needs a new farm implement from John Deere.


Or maybe that "other" one ... the "Red One" ???

~Country Wisdom~

Boy, what a busy time of the year here in rural Hootersville.
What, with this global warming thing .. (we call it "Spring" around here), and the livestock droppin' young-uns all over the place and all. And as V-P Dick Cheney said the other day ... "I hate to sound alarmist, but it's gonna be getting a lot warmer over the next few months". That Mr. Cheney - I bet he'd be a good farmer when he gets outta D.C. He's got what them black suit fellas call "MOXEY", which I guess means he's got plenty of money and he's sly as a fox.
That's him congratulating Algore on the monstrous $100,000,000 scam job he's pulled off so far on the gullible "progressive" global warming crowd. He offered up a "cool" handshake diced with a smidgen of organic waste for his begonia garden back at the Tennessee mansion.
But Cheney's environmentally conscious too. I heard he's instructed his medical staff that any future emergency trips to the hospital MUST be by hybrid ambulance only ... no more wasteful pollution-emitting gas hogs to sully HIS carbon footprint. No siree !

And so I figgered while I'm gnawing on this peanut butter sandwich for lunch break, maybe ya'll would appreciate a few MORE bits of country boy wisdom I've stashed in the old noggin during my learned lifetime. Probably not, but here goes anyway :

* A long time ago it occurred to me that I'm really quite unique ... just like everybody else.

* And - If you ever get to thinking that maybe nobody really cares whether you're alive or dead, try missing a couple of car payments.

* A thousand mile journey begins with a leaky tire and a broken fan belt.

* All your friends seem normal 'till you really get to know 'em.

* Before you criticize somebody, you oughta walk a mile in their shoes. Then you'll be a mile away from 'em .... and you'll have their shoes.


* Don't ever be irreplacable. If you can't be replaced, then you can't be promoted either.

* Don't ever test the depth of the waters with both feet.

* If at first you don't succeed, then maybe you better not take up skydiving.


* Grampa used to say, "Give a man a fish & he'll eat for a day." "TEACH him how to fish, & he'll spend the whole damned day in a boat drinkin' beer."

* If you lend someone 20 bucks and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

* Some days you're the bug ... Some days you're the windshield.

* The ONLY way you're gonna double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your wallet.


* A closed mouth gathers no foot.

* And - You can't be learnin' much if your lips are moving.

* And - Never miss out on a good chance to shut up for a change.

* There are two theories for successfully arguing with a woman .... but neither one of 'em works, so just forget it.

* I've come to the conclusion that duct tape is like "The Force". It has a light side, a dark side, and I swear it can hold the universe together.


* It's always darkest before the dawn, so that's the best time to sneak over and snag your neighbor's newspaper.

Yep, living out here in Hootersville has definitely given me some valuable learning experience all right. But then come to think of it, experience is something you don't actually get until AFTER you needed it.

Oh well ... ya'll have a good 'un anyway.

NO ! - I JUST CAN'T DO IT !

Normally I try to avoid any mention of politics ...aside from our troll road issues and the slithering skunks who create them for their personal profit. But yesterday was the big day for 'Taxes' primary elections, and that uneasy situation for me meant that I had to do one of three things before the end of the day:

* Vote for my candidate of choice, (of which I have none).
* Ignore the process and hope that everything turns out okay.
* Take the advice of so many fellow conservatives nationwide, who were calling upon us (me) to vote FOR the "Queen of Mean", because she would be much easier to defeat against anyone with any true conservative values .. of which she and her party have none.

So I got up early with the intention of fulfilling that request. Drove over to my local polling station, wandered in to an otherwise empty room, and was asked upon entering, "Republican or Democrat?" "Independent", I answered, confidently.
Sorry, there's no table to represent "Independent", I was informed. "Gotta be Republican or Democrat".

"Huh ? What if I came in to vote for the 'Green Party' candidate ?" I asked.
"Well, we could give you a paper ballot, & you can 'write in' your choice", I was told by the two Republican table judges. ....."OR - You COULD just vote the Democratic ticket", the two sweeties at the Democratic table suggested.

Surprisingly, the Republican guys just rolled their eyes and made no comment.

And that's when it hit me ...

I know I came in with an agenda. And I want to do the right thing for my family, my country, and my ancestors.
But if I was to sign on to that 'Democrat' book, and vote for a woman who despises everything my parents believed in ... and that my Dad fought for in WWII, a woman who despises all branches of the military, and has publicly condemned them in the current Iraq war, and espoused to dishonor them by forcing defeat upon them before they can finish the great job they've done for us there ..... If I was to show the least respect for her ambitious goals of destroying everything I stand for personally, and for her desire to turn the United States of America into a socialist state, dictated solely by her endless mandates and power hungry Big Government programs .......

.......Well, no matter how many times I showered, or for how long, for the rest of my life I could never remove the stigma of that decision I might have undertaken. So as I stood there, I thought "Come on, reality ... let's get unified". "Let's get it together". And the skies opened, the light came down, celestial choirs were singing, and it seemed that everyone in the great beyond knew that I was about to do the right thing. And the world, while not perfect, was now brighter.

So I signed into the 'Republican' book, got my little "I VOTED" sticker stuck on me, and was handed my usual little "Clave de Acceso" access code number slip to sign on to the electronic voting machine.

And with one turn of the selection wheel, and one click of the ENTER button, evangelical candidate Mike Huckabee came (supposedly) one digit closer to at least letting fellow Christians know that he was still supported and loved in 'Taxes'.
And on top of that, I was given a Hershey's Kisses treat for my efforts ... which beats any government sponsored insurance plan or other tax and spend program I would have been offered on the opposite side of the room .....any day.

"No More "Union" For Me..."

Well it's time to gear up for spring planting pretty soon. And some farmers unlike myself will have to look to outside help to get the fields prepped, machinery maintained or restored, and bins readied for the annual abundance of produce that will surely bless us this coming year. Hope they're not Union Guys ...or at least not that "foo-foo" variety like they have out in California ... the "Guilds".

Where'd that "Guild" crap come from anyway ???
The "Actors Guild" -- The "Writers Guild" ... They're UNIONS ! Just like any other Union.
And that's what they oughta CALL 'em. But Nooooooo ..... This is La La Land. Everything's gotta sound golden and glitzy there.

So if THEY can have foo-foo names, I think all the other unions oughta get into it also.

The Auto Workers' Union can now be known as the Auto Workers' GUILD.
Steel Workers will likewise now be known as the Steel Workers' GUILD.
Transportation Workers ... Transportation Workers' GUILD.
Sanitation workers can proudly carry their "Sanitation Workers' GUILD" plaquards on walkouts.
Even the nations dock workers can now boast membership in the Longshoremens' GUILD.
And if you decide to run for president, you might garner an endorsement by the Teamsters GUILD.

Ponder it over a bit and you can probably think of dozens of new "GUILDS" you could suggest.

...Or just get on out there with your buddies and a few Farmalls and plow up some guilded taters or sowpeas.
Have a "guilded" day !

"Here In 'Taxes'..."

Here in 'Taxes', we have this ... well, this "guy", who says he's qualified to serve as governor of the state because:

1. George Bush appointed him thus when he left the office to become prez.
..... and
2. "We" re-elected him to office by 30% of the total vote in the last election.

And because he won by such a "landslide" ... he's been on the fantasy trail of persuing even greater and more ambitious goals lately. For one thing, he's thrown any and all public input on any topic out the window. Case in point - His dream of taking NAFTA to a whole new level with his TTC, or "Trans Taxes Corridor" tollway, whereby he turns existing north-south Interstate 35 thru central 'Taxes' into a 12-lane private developer-owned menagerie consisting of the big rig and automobile traffic lanes, divided by rows of freight train rails down the center, with water, high voltage transmission, gasoline, oil, and natural gas pipelines all buried beneath the entire length of the system, (and what a terrorist's dream this could be) with profits from the leasing of the space combining with profits from the trollway booths benefitting --- guess who. And it's NOT the 'Taxes' taxpaying public. But my point is ... NO PUBLIC INPUT.
Oh sure, TxDOT holds public hearings regarding almost everything they intend to do to us, but then the Trollway Commission brings in busloads of their paid developer friends, gives them special lapel buttons & caps to identify them to board membrs as "friendly supporters", and even ushers them in to meetings an hour or so early, filling the meeting halls in order to prevent any non-supporters from getting inside to voice their opposition.
And to insure a clear path statewide for their trollway agenda, they buy off local city or county officials with lucrative Trollway Commission positions and handfulls of free "TxTag" passes, which allows the user to pass freely along trollways without having to pay ... or even to stop at the booth at all. In this way, they're able to use taxpayer funds, not only to promote their illegal programs with perpetual, glitzy TV ads, but to line their organizational pockets for their shady services performed along the way. All the while complaining that the reason they need trollways is that they lack the necessary funds to actually construct more highways. BUT - does the public actually OWN these new trollways ? NO ! And they never will. After the land to build on is confiscated by right of imminent domain, the road construction contracts ... along with title to the roadways to be built ... are farmed out to foreign investment groups, who not only own them indefinitely, but are virtually guaranteed that future business will be diverted to the trollways by a series of "No Compete Clauses" in the contracts ... meaning that alternate "free" routes will be hindered from competing with the trollways by disallowing any improvements, additions, or alterations to the free routes, as well as a new program whereby existing speed limits on the free routes are reduced to mundane levels, while limits on the trollways are increased to the point of actually becoming dangerous.
And I should mention at this point that if you're really interested, all the TRUE facts on Perry's trollway plans can be found at www.CorridorWatch.org



But enough of trollways. The point of this story is that our esteemed top bureaucrat is using his criminal powers to branch out well BEYOND 'Taxes' now. And it would be hilarious to even imagine where he's setting his sights these days if it weren't so damned threatening to the entire nation.
The new logo we discovered for his future endeavors pretty well says it all ... Texas today ... tomorrow the country ... after that ... well, you gotta think BIG when you've been pilfering the tax revenues and stomping all over the citizens of the biggest, meanest state in the nation.




By the way, a few weeks back ... before any of the caucuses ... a former New York mayor by the name Giuliani (AKA "Roodie") came to town (Austin) for a promotional press conference whereby Gov. Perry announced his official endorsement of the mayor as a presidential contender. It was further indicated that Rick Perry would be among the top picks as a running mate, should Giuliani become the Republican nominee. Interestingly, up until that day, Giuliani was quite popular among most 'Taxes' Republicans. But further digging revealed that Giuliani Partners, LLP of New York City just also happened to be the legal firm that represents CINTRA (of Spain) and CAMPO ... the state's trollway building commission in their numerous legal battles.
And the mere mention of the name Giuliani in 'Taxes' today leaves a rather nasty taste on most citizens' tongues. Yep - 'bout the same flavor as that ugly name ... "Rick Perry".