From The Mouths of Babes ...

Surely all of us have some familiarity with the funny comments kids can make "off the cuff", as they say.
And some of us can probably remember what grade school was like .. maybe we can call up memories of favorite, or not so favorite teachers, or of some funny comments we've witnessed first hand in school at some time. So maybe you can relate to these funny remarks that have been noted by grade schoolers:
It's photo day at the community elementary school.
All the kids were prepared .. dress was clean, but casual.
Everybody was pleased with the way the group photo turned out.
Nothing to do now but convince the kids to actually BUY the photos.
Mrs. Lambert addresses her first grade class:

"How nice it will be some day when you can look at this photograph and think, 'There's Johnny .. and now he's DR. Morris'. Or there's Susie .. Now she's JUDGE Smith."
Just then a small, squeaky voice called out from the back of the room:
..."Yeah, or 'There's old Mrs. Lambert .. she's dead!"


And over at the Catholic school, it's lunch time.Kids are lining up to go thru and pick out their choices, starting with a big pile of apples on a platter, with a little note placed below them from Sister Mary which reads:

"Take One and only ONE .. God is watching".

The children continue along to the other end of the line, where they find another platter, this one piled high with chocolate chip cookies. And beneath the pile is a hastily scrawled note from a fellow student:

"Take all you want. God's watching the apples !"

But let's move on to Kindergarten, where a little girl is busily tending to her artwork project.
The teacher approaches for inspection, as she continues scrawling, undistracted.
"My, that's quite a portrait there, Amy ... So who IS this you're drawing ?"
"It's GOD", she answers profoundly.
"Oh, I'm afraid it can't be God, dear ... You see, nobody really knows what God looks like".
Still undistracted, little Amy answers:
"They will pretty soon - I'm almost finished".

Now it's on to Sunday school, where a class of pre-teens is learning about the Ten Commandments.
The class recites the Commandments, then the instructor discusses them ...She asks: "So now we know about honoring our mothers & fathers" - "Does anybody know of a Commandment regarding our brothers or sisters?" After a brief lull, one voice ... that of an older sibling of five kids answers:

"Yeah, It's the one that says "Thou shalt not kill !"


And in case you've ever wondered why religious stories should never be discussed in public schools ....

For her class assignment, one little girl is telling the Biblical story of Jonah and the Whale, when her agitated teacher interrupts her to inform the class that the story should actually be considered fictional, since a whale, despite it's immense size, actually has quite a restrcted throat passage, and could not possibly swallow a human being.

After further argument, the girl finally suggests:
"Okay, when I get to Heaven, I'm just going to ASK Jonah if the story is true !"
The teacher holds her ground, arms crossed, as she questions:
"And what if it turns out that Jonah went to Hell instead ?"

"Then YOU can ask him !", the student answers.



But conversations with kids can get just as unruly at home, can't they ?

Take for example, the little girl who, as she watches her mom fixing supper, asks:
"Mom, why do you have all those white hairs starting to show up on your head?"
"Well..Every time you do something that makes me angry.."
"Every time you make me sad, or try to hurt my feelings..."
"Every time you criticize me for my cooking, for example, It makes another white hair grow out."

The daughter answers: "Oh .. Well then .. Why has ALL of GRAMMA'S hair turned white ?"