Mom Always Said - You Are What You Eat

I was at a local restaurant recently, where a couple at the next table boastfully ordered the most expensive (or at least the most "French-sounding") items they could find on the menu. Naturally I always just settle for a hamburger & fries, or maybe a half raw steak & baked potato, (or 'potatoe' - as some prefer the spelling), if I'm REALLY feeling inclined to blow a bit of cash.

But then this ritzy, jewel-clad socialite next to us got to the really gross part of her selections ... proudly gesturing to the waiter as she gleefully added a plate of ESCARGOT to her order. Now you might think that an old backwoods country bumpkin wouldn't have the slightest idea what escargot even IS ... but oh, I know SOME French words all right. And I learned by the time I was in high school that some folks actually EAT those slimy little boogers.

You still with me ? Yep, I bet that at some point in your lifetime, your Mama had to stop you from pickin' your nose and eatin' the contents therein. "It's GROSS !", she'd tell you. And if she didn't, your big sister did. Boogers are dirty, they're slimy, & all different shades of grey, brown, and even green sometimes.
How do I know ? .......

... I just do.

And I also know that snails -- or escargot, if you like the fancier name for 'em, are just as nasty, slimy, and dingy-lookin' as the ugliest booger you ever hooked a nail onto. And even though I haven't had any desire to eat boogers since I was at least 2 years old, that don't mean I'd be willing to exchange that culinary perversion for another equally disgusting one. I mean, think about it ... with boogers, you pretty well knew what you were getting & where they came from. But with those dead snails, you don't have any idea of WHERE they've been, what they just crawled over before somebody caught 'em, or even what they might have up their OWN noses when you decided it might be interesting to chow down on one.

You gettin' hungry yet ?